Woke up in the wee hours again today. Headache brewing. Despite some truly terrific things happening this week I'm feeling off. What is it?
I'm too busy with external commitments again. What happened to my commitment to myself, to substantial hours devoted to exploring art?
I think I have to accept that I have a personality or character or something that attracts busy-ness. If work isn't filling my time I fill it with volunteer commitments, connecting with new and old friends, house chores, and probably problems I invent. I don't say 'No' often enough or at least 'Not right now'. I accommodate for a quick response - not for any martyr tendencies but because I am interested in doing whatever it is. The thing is that means I don't say Yes to what I've identified as my priority.
Back to that thing about choices.
This week I've been trying to negotiate various meetings, trying to fit this person here, that person there, adjust the time with one person to accommodate another that has popped up. Some of it is work related so I add pressure to myself to find a way. And then...one by one, they each cancel.
The Universe heard and delivered. There's space again. Will I choose wisely and according to my priorities? I intend to.
***
Follow up from last week: a song I wrote has been adopted as the Spirited Women theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iv7vHzfebw (I'd love to get your feedback.)
Sep 29, 2010
Sep 23, 2010
unique and universal
A few years ago I wrote a song for one specific special person in my life. About a year later I realized I could have written it for me too.
Then, when I dared to share it with more and more people I was quite taken aback (and delighted of course) by their response to what I considered to be a really simple song. It appeared to resonate with many folks.
While pondering this last week with my Spirited Women gang, I exclaimed: "It's kind of neat how the unique and the universal both begin with "U".
It took a couple of seconds for me to realize what I'd said.
***
The song is called 'Listen to Your Heart'. Hearts are certainly unique and universal ... and the listening starts with you and your own.
As soon as I learn how to create a video/audio link I'll share it with you. Homework for me this week.
Then, when I dared to share it with more and more people I was quite taken aback (and delighted of course) by their response to what I considered to be a really simple song. It appeared to resonate with many folks.
While pondering this last week with my Spirited Women gang, I exclaimed: "It's kind of neat how the unique and the universal both begin with "U".
It took a couple of seconds for me to realize what I'd said.
***
The song is called 'Listen to Your Heart'. Hearts are certainly unique and universal ... and the listening starts with you and your own.
As soon as I learn how to create a video/audio link I'll share it with you. Homework for me this week.
Sep 16, 2010
shifting energy
Sometimes hope and renewed energy comes in strange forms.
Like large and small men in big boots and ball caps showing up to help me problem solve my well water issues. Like interesting work that includes travel and writing as well as coaching and facilitation - now that's alignment!
Like having one of my songs adopted by the Spirited Women Collaborative*! Like seeing my first officially published article professionally laid out in a magazine with the words Change Artist attached to it. How fitting are both of these as I embark on a year of focused creative explorations?! To view the article: http://issuu.com/healthwiseottawa/docs/hwo_fall_2010/7 (I welcome your feedback)
Or ... like seeing an albino porcupine.
I spotted this spiky spirit creature at the side of the road, practically glowing in the dark. My joyful, incredulous response to this unexpected appearance (along with all the others I've mentioned here) has reminded me that wonder, hope and possibility are sitting quietly amidst the chaos, the unknown and the unlikely. Stay open to seeing.
May unexpected forms of hope and renewed energy find you when you most need it!
Linda
* I hope you'll join us at our open house next Saturday, September 25th in Ottawa - as part of Culture Days. www.spiritedwomen.ca
Like large and small men in big boots and ball caps showing up to help me problem solve my well water issues. Like interesting work that includes travel and writing as well as coaching and facilitation - now that's alignment!
Like having one of my songs adopted by the Spirited Women Collaborative*! Like seeing my first officially published article professionally laid out in a magazine with the words Change Artist attached to it. How fitting are both of these as I embark on a year of focused creative explorations?! To view the article: http://issuu.com/healthwiseottawa/docs/hwo_fall_2010/7 (I welcome your feedback)
Or ... like seeing an albino porcupine.
I spotted this spiky spirit creature at the side of the road, practically glowing in the dark. My joyful, incredulous response to this unexpected appearance (along with all the others I've mentioned here) has reminded me that wonder, hope and possibility are sitting quietly amidst the chaos, the unknown and the unlikely. Stay open to seeing.
May unexpected forms of hope and renewed energy find you when you most need it!
Linda
* I hope you'll join us at our open house next Saturday, September 25th in Ottawa - as part of Culture Days. www.spiritedwomen.ca
Sep 8, 2010
grief
We can’t escape or walk away from grief;
we walk through it.
And walking—not running, not crawling—
is the proper pace to be traveling.
Linus Mundy
we walk through it.
And walking—not running, not crawling—
is the proper pace to be traveling.
Linus Mundy
This poem was sent to me by a dear friend who knows how to walk with me. She found it on this website: http://www.journeyofhearts.
I'm working on it, feeling my way to resilience. Trusting one day I will see and feel differently.
Despite these set backs I did finally set up my art space! I think it will work just fine too. I feel it calling me to come play, come feel joy!
Sep 2, 2010
PS I stand corrected
PS Earlier today I referred to a story/parable. I found one version:
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2008/01/30/daily-message-186/
Apparently it's not a Sufi story though: "This is NOT a sufi story, its from the Ancient Chinese book “Hanfeizi” – much before there were sufi – and even before there was Japan! ;-) "
If you like such stories, here is a site that appears to have many others:
http://simerg.com/parables/parable-traditional-sufi-stories-about-the-intricacies-of-life/
Linda, still learning to appreciate the blessings in disguise...
http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2008/01/30/daily-message-186/
Apparently it's not a Sufi story though: "This is NOT a sufi story, its from the Ancient Chinese book “Hanfeizi” – much before there were sufi – and even before there was Japan! ;-) "
If you like such stories, here is a site that appears to have many others:
http://simerg.com/parables/parable-traditional-sufi-stories-about-the-intricacies-of-life/
Linda, still learning to appreciate the blessings in disguise...
endings and beginnings
September arrives. I consider this month to be the official beginning of my 'creative sabbatical' - which means leaving energy, time and space to explore my own brand of art making while I also continue to offer individual and team coaching/facilitation services.
No matter how I slice it, it's been a tough few months. Many of the big, heavy decisions have been made. Letting go of my home (for now). Moving to what has been my work space (thereby ending it's use as a rental space). Letting go of my relationship, possibly our musical duo as well.
My heart is heavy. I suspect it w ill take awhile to heal, to awaken to the gifts that these sad events hold for me. There are no beginnings without some endings.
What am I noticing as I live this? That moving, purging, leaving took a lot more time and energy than I'd anticipated. That I'm struggling with how to inform my clients. That I've reverted back into 'busy-ness' with overloading my community commitments. That I've been slipping on my self imposed deadlines for this blog ...but hanging in there nonetheless. That I haven't created my studio space yet.
I'm also noticing how grateful I am that I have this space to retreat to during these hard times. And amazing friends who have lifted spirits as well as boxes to get me here. I am grateful for my desire to write, to make art, to begin the journey to explore it more fully over this next year. I'm grateful for my moments of yoga that help to ground me and for friends who listen and offer new perspectives. I am grateful for my relative health, for the beauty that surrounds me, for my desire to learn and move on.
So I try to remember the Sufi story about 'could be good, could be bad'. Nothing is permanent. Though I may not understand or appreciate where it will lead me right now, I trust that something good will come out of all this...given a good dose of compassion and time.
No matter how I slice it, it's been a tough few months. Many of the big, heavy decisions have been made. Letting go of my home (for now). Moving to what has been my work space (thereby ending it's use as a rental space). Letting go of my relationship, possibly our musical duo as well.
My heart is heavy. I suspect it w ill take awhile to heal, to awaken to the gifts that these sad events hold for me. There are no beginnings without some endings.
What am I noticing as I live this? That moving, purging, leaving took a lot more time and energy than I'd anticipated. That I'm struggling with how to inform my clients. That I've reverted back into 'busy-ness' with overloading my community commitments. That I've been slipping on my self imposed deadlines for this blog ...but hanging in there nonetheless. That I haven't created my studio space yet.
I'm also noticing how grateful I am that I have this space to retreat to during these hard times. And amazing friends who have lifted spirits as well as boxes to get me here. I am grateful for my desire to write, to make art, to begin the journey to explore it more fully over this next year. I'm grateful for my moments of yoga that help to ground me and for friends who listen and offer new perspectives. I am grateful for my relative health, for the beauty that surrounds me, for my desire to learn and move on.
So I try to remember the Sufi story about 'could be good, could be bad'. Nothing is permanent. Though I may not understand or appreciate where it will lead me right now, I trust that something good will come out of all this...given a good dose of compassion and time.
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