I lost a favourite earring again.
Spent a good part of the evening berating myself. Why don't I use those little keepers on the end of the hook to avoid this loss? What stops me? Is it laziness, one more step I simply can't be bothered with? Do I really think I can control this, even with repeated evidence to the contrary?
Right now it seems so silly and even irresponsible (a trigger word for me), especially when it's something I care about. The earring loss may be a small thing but I'm realizing that this tendency shows up in really important things as well.
Like having a will.
I've had getting my affairs in order - the will, choosing an executor, talking to family and friends about my wishes - on my to do list for a long time... only to watch another week, month, year go by. Not to mention the many hours wasted on berating myself. Avoidable.
This week I got a cruel kick in the butt; I lost my brother. He died of a heart attack. Far away in Arizona. It does not appear that he had his affairs in order either...and so we are left trying to honour him as best we can. Guessing.
Lesson learned, painfully: I've contacted a notary to do up my will. I've started to use those earring keepers.
Bonus outcome: less time berating myself leaves more time for joy and appreciation.
Thanks for the hard lesson, Bro.
About Me
- Linda V.
- As a coach and a facilitator most of my work with people and organizations is around getting clear about where you are going and figuring out how you influence moving there. My belief is that learning about yourself in relationship with others is a big part of how you discover choice points to influence your outcomes. What I want to learn more about is how the use of art (metaphor, collage, improv, painting, crayons etc) can be a way to explore these relationships, often opening up insights to ourselves and our current choices. This is my first experience with blogging. Let's see if it takes!
Ironically, I have those two things on my own to-do list. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI don't envy you for what you're dealing with at the moment. Keep on trucking, one little thing at a time, and when it works for you, come let off some steam with a ski.
Hi Linda,
ReplyDeleteJackie here - I am so sorry about the loss of your brother. My most heartfelt condolences. My brother had a serious illness recently so I can sure relate. It is wonderful that it had some positive action for you though.....
I have done the will thing..not because I don't put things off but because it is a requirement of international work. I find as humans it always boils down to the motivation factor. Sometimes we need to thrust ourselves into uncomfortable situations for the motivation factor to kick in. Having the personal experience of your brother dying will really help in the quality of the will you are now writing. They are more than a piece of paper with words on it - a will expresses your intentions and are a reflection of your principles and values. Wishing you love and light. Jackie
Thanks Erin and Jackie. Appreciate your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteBy the way...I found that favourite earring...and in some ways, by spending time with the folks that loved my brother down in Tucson...I kind of found him too.
Linda