wake up calls

I lost a favourite earring again.

Spent a good part of the evening berating myself. Why don't I use those little keepers on the end of the hook to avoid this loss? What stops me? Is it laziness, one more step I simply can't be bothered with? Do I really think I can control this, even with repeated evidence to the contrary?

Right now it seems so silly and even irresponsible (a trigger word for me), especially when it's something I care about. The earring loss may be a small thing but I'm realizing that this tendency shows up in really important things as well.

Like having a will.

I've had getting my affairs in order - the will, choosing an executor, talking to family and friends about my wishes - on my to do list for a long time... only to watch another week, month, year go by.  Not to mention the many hours wasted on berating myself. Avoidable.

This week I got a cruel kick in the butt;  I lost my brother. He died of a heart attack. Far away in Arizona. It does not appear that he had his affairs in order either...and so we are left trying to honour him as best we can.  Guessing. 

Lesson learned, painfully:  I've contacted a notary to do up my will. I've started to use those earring keepers.

Bonus outcome:  less time berating myself leaves more time for joy and appreciation.

Thanks for the hard lesson, Bro.