Woke up in the wee hours again today. Headache brewing. Despite some truly terrific things happening this week I'm feeling off. What is it?
I'm too busy with external commitments again. What happened to my commitment to myself, to substantial hours devoted to exploring art?
I think I have to accept that I have a personality or character or something that attracts busy-ness. If work isn't filling my time I fill it with volunteer commitments, connecting with new and old friends, house chores, and probably problems I invent. I don't say 'No' often enough or at least 'Not right now'. I accommodate for a quick response - not for any martyr tendencies but because I am interested in doing whatever it is. The thing is that means I don't say Yes to what I've identified as my priority.
Back to that thing about choices.
This week I've been trying to negotiate various meetings, trying to fit this person here, that person there, adjust the time with one person to accommodate another that has popped up. Some of it is work related so I add pressure to myself to find a way. And then...one by one, they each cancel.
The Universe heard and delivered. There's space again. Will I choose wisely and according to my priorities? I intend to.
***
Follow up from last week: a song I wrote has been adopted as the Spirited Women theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iv7vHzfebw (I'd love to get your feedback.)
Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts
Showing posts with label listening. Show all posts
Sep 29, 2010
Jun 16, 2010
crossroads
How many of us have sat at this spot before...weighing, debating, crying, stomping, wishing...as we try to decide what is right for us, what path to take?
What do I have to say NO to in order to live my YES!?
As I deliberate my choices I am trying to be mindful of my patterns and tendencies. I realize I want to move to action quickly. I want to make a decision, any decision, now. Uncertainty and limbo is uncomfortable. I also tend to spend a great deal of time analyzing - pages of journal writing, copious quantities of tea are consumed as I share thoughts and feelings with friends and colleagues.
So my 'NO' is to jumping to action and obsessive talking and storytelling about my situation. I will take a cue from my yoga practice: encourage myself to 'pause between poses', to be still, to simply notice without judgment (or analysis), and give space for integration.
This will allow me to say 'YES' to slowing down and being here in this moment, in this beautiful place surrounded by nature and creativity, feeling these sensations, listening quietly to what's happening for me... trusting that clarity and insight will emerge.
What do I have to say NO to in order to live my YES!?
As I deliberate my choices I am trying to be mindful of my patterns and tendencies. I realize I want to move to action quickly. I want to make a decision, any decision, now. Uncertainty and limbo is uncomfortable. I also tend to spend a great deal of time analyzing - pages of journal writing, copious quantities of tea are consumed as I share thoughts and feelings with friends and colleagues.
So my 'NO' is to jumping to action and obsessive talking and storytelling about my situation. I will take a cue from my yoga practice: encourage myself to 'pause between poses', to be still, to simply notice without judgment (or analysis), and give space for integration.
This will allow me to say 'YES' to slowing down and being here in this moment, in this beautiful place surrounded by nature and creativity, feeling these sensations, listening quietly to what's happening for me... trusting that clarity and insight will emerge.
Jun 2, 2010
the stories we tell
I recently spent some time devouring a journal on social change directed at leaders and folks like me who work with organizations around the people side of change. Among other idea's, one approach that stood out for me was: transform the stories we tell ourselves.
Stories offer a perspective, a view point, a way of seeing. They engage and connect us with ourselves and one another. A good story also tends to carry our emotions - and our emotions are an indicator of what's important and has meaning to us. Those emotions can also distort or limit our perspective of the whole picture.
Let's start with ourselves ...what story are you telling yourself about what ever is currently happening in your life that has your attention? Are you a hero, a villain, a victim in that story? All three perhaps? How does this story serve you? How is it supporting your vision or goals right now? Is the story keeping you stuck or keeping you moving in a positive direction? If you decide it's not truly serving you, how might you alter the story, reframe it so that you might breathe a little easier, move into a more spacious place of compassion and possibility?
For me I have been telling myself a story about my stressful situation. Each time I tell it - to myself or to others - I need to find evidence to make that story true. Lately I've decided to tell my story differently ...and I'm already feeling lighter, noticing more and more positive, supportive things happening as I find, invent or stumble upon ways to cope with the stresses that are a part of this journey...and notice which ones I have some control over! It's a great feeling! And a much better story!
I will soon be facilitating a team retreat and I'm pondering ways we might explore their individual and collective stories, what those stories say about themselves, each other and their work. By listening deeply and perhaps with a different intention, might they also notice in those stories what is wished for? Might there be some acknowledgment of some distortion, missing information, or an assumption getting in the way of working even better together than they are already? I know that creating a space for that kind of listening and telling does open up ways to transform the stories to identifying what it is they all want more of...and the opportunities to move it in that direction.
My hope is that you will uncover more opportunities and possibilities in your stories - even the ones you tell only to yourself - than at first or 10th telling. Try to listen differently. Sometimes that in itself will produce subtle shifts. Let me know what happens.
Stories offer a perspective, a view point, a way of seeing. They engage and connect us with ourselves and one another. A good story also tends to carry our emotions - and our emotions are an indicator of what's important and has meaning to us. Those emotions can also distort or limit our perspective of the whole picture.
Let's start with ourselves ...what story are you telling yourself about what ever is currently happening in your life that has your attention? Are you a hero, a villain, a victim in that story? All three perhaps? How does this story serve you? How is it supporting your vision or goals right now? Is the story keeping you stuck or keeping you moving in a positive direction? If you decide it's not truly serving you, how might you alter the story, reframe it so that you might breathe a little easier, move into a more spacious place of compassion and possibility?
For me I have been telling myself a story about my stressful situation. Each time I tell it - to myself or to others - I need to find evidence to make that story true. Lately I've decided to tell my story differently ...and I'm already feeling lighter, noticing more and more positive, supportive things happening as I find, invent or stumble upon ways to cope with the stresses that are a part of this journey...and notice which ones I have some control over! It's a great feeling! And a much better story!
I will soon be facilitating a team retreat and I'm pondering ways we might explore their individual and collective stories, what those stories say about themselves, each other and their work. By listening deeply and perhaps with a different intention, might they also notice in those stories what is wished for? Might there be some acknowledgment of some distortion, missing information, or an assumption getting in the way of working even better together than they are already? I know that creating a space for that kind of listening and telling does open up ways to transform the stories to identifying what it is they all want more of...and the opportunities to move it in that direction.
My hope is that you will uncover more opportunities and possibilities in your stories - even the ones you tell only to yourself - than at first or 10th telling. Try to listen differently. Sometimes that in itself will produce subtle shifts. Let me know what happens.
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