Last week I spent two days with a management team where I witnessed strength, vulnerability and incredible courage. Proverbial elephants were put on the table and real conversations about how to work better together ensued.
It's easy to believe that it's the tasks, our productivity, that gets the job done. But tasks can't get done effectively or sustainably if information is held back out of fear, if minds aren't open to hearing different view points, if relationships aren't created with an eye to mutual learning. If trust isn't cultivated.
Trust and risk are flip sides of the same coin. In order to create, maintain or rebuild trust we have to take risks. To come together, to say what is our truth, to listen to the others' truth. We have to have the courage to show up and participate without knowing for sure if its all going to work out.
This team stepped up to the opportunity and discovered what it feels like to have conversations from their hearts. They co-created the space to be courageous, to be supportive of each other and to learn together about a different way of being.
Hidden elephants absorb and preoccupy a lot of energy - energy and creativity that could be better spent in service of your individual and collective health and dreams. Not easy but definitely worth it.
Showing posts with label managing transitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label managing transitions. Show all posts
Nov 3, 2010
Oct 21, 2010
courage and vulnerability
Here I am, my last day in lovely Nova Scotia. Thought I'd try to get this post off before I get on the plane.
I've met some courageous folks this week, each on their own journey to a life that pleases and fulfills them. Each person I met is in the process of living a major transition in their life: changes that include letting go of a relationship, leaving home, joining a support program, or selling a business*.
Whatever transition we're in, it can often include some lost, lonely and scary moments for most of us - even when they are changes we choose! The appropriate support can make all the difference in these moments. What I seem to be noticing this week is that support can be plentiful and right in arms reach but unless we're willing to accept it, we aren't likely to perceive it let alone reap the full range of benefits offered. In order to seek, see and receive that support it seems to me that we need to allow ourselves to be both vulnerable and courageous.
What helps us dance that delicate line between the two? How do we trust enough - both ourselves and the support offered - to let go and let come? For many of the folks I met this week they told me that what helped them was feeling listened to, non-judged, and accepted. I also heard that they themselves were ready for the change...there was personal desire and commitment.
But the crucial thing that seemed to matter the most for many was hearing someone they trusted say that they believed in them.
Being believed in when you've lost, buried or distorted your belief in yourself is a powerful thing. I've experienced that. What I've learned this week is that we could only hear that message (even if cautiously) if it somehow resonated with our wish, our longing, our own belief in ourselves: Yes, I am capable, worth it, lovable ... (an artist!). The other person is simply shining a light, a mirror, an amplifier on something that already exists. Their belief in us comes in through our vulnerability, perhaps a small crack we've allowed in our armour, our defenses. It lets in that bit of light, warmth, and hope that can help us take the next step.
Look around...who or what support could you allow in today? Give yourself the gift of being vulnerable, of courageously accepting the support offered that you know - you feel in your body - is the truth. It is possible to be who you want to be and live the life you want to live.
* By the by, if the life you want is possibly owning a B & B in Nova Scotia, check out: http://www.bbcanada.com/bb_forsale/farmhouseinn
I've met some courageous folks this week, each on their own journey to a life that pleases and fulfills them. Each person I met is in the process of living a major transition in their life: changes that include letting go of a relationship, leaving home, joining a support program, or selling a business*.
Whatever transition we're in, it can often include some lost, lonely and scary moments for most of us - even when they are changes we choose! The appropriate support can make all the difference in these moments. What I seem to be noticing this week is that support can be plentiful and right in arms reach but unless we're willing to accept it, we aren't likely to perceive it let alone reap the full range of benefits offered. In order to seek, see and receive that support it seems to me that we need to allow ourselves to be both vulnerable and courageous.
What helps us dance that delicate line between the two? How do we trust enough - both ourselves and the support offered - to let go and let come? For many of the folks I met this week they told me that what helped them was feeling listened to, non-judged, and accepted. I also heard that they themselves were ready for the change...there was personal desire and commitment.
But the crucial thing that seemed to matter the most for many was hearing someone they trusted say that they believed in them.
Being believed in when you've lost, buried or distorted your belief in yourself is a powerful thing. I've experienced that. What I've learned this week is that we could only hear that message (even if cautiously) if it somehow resonated with our wish, our longing, our own belief in ourselves: Yes, I am capable, worth it, lovable ... (an artist!). The other person is simply shining a light, a mirror, an amplifier on something that already exists. Their belief in us comes in through our vulnerability, perhaps a small crack we've allowed in our armour, our defenses. It lets in that bit of light, warmth, and hope that can help us take the next step.
Look around...who or what support could you allow in today? Give yourself the gift of being vulnerable, of courageously accepting the support offered that you know - you feel in your body - is the truth. It is possible to be who you want to be and live the life you want to live.
* By the by, if the life you want is possibly owning a B & B in Nova Scotia, check out: http://www.bbcanada.com/bb_forsale/farmhouseinn
May 5, 2010
self support - know thy self!
I've resumed my self care rituals. Just by doing that I already feel better. Helping myself, doing what I can with what I have some control over, does wonders for the psyche!
A self care routine for me means starting my day with a walk. Not only am I moving my body I'm also taking time to notice my environment, the colours of the season, the mood of the sky, my own breathe.
When I return home I drink some water and then find my way to my yoga mat. Delicious, slow stretches help me notice and pay homage to this body that despite the various aches and pains does a pretty good job of taking me through the world. Appreciating all the many parts that are working well and being compassionate with the parts that need some TLC. The monkey brain continues to chatter but every once in awhile I remember to let it go and just notice my breathe.
From this place of relaxed openness I let loose in my journal. This is where I allow all those thoughts, feelings, dreams, ideas and 'to do' lists to spill out on the page. No holding back. No need to think about spelling, punctuation or style...just steam of consciousness. It is often cathartic and insightful!
1) Have my walking/yoga clothes ready for me to jump into as soon as I wake up. I've already decided that this is the best thing for me so no need to debate, dither or be distracted by searching for the right top; just get dressed, drink some water and get out the door!
2) Refrain from 'just a quick peek at my emails first'. That's a big distraction that often is assured to bump me off my track. A way to help with that would be to turn off my computer completely at night. When it's on and ready to go it's a bigger temptation. I tell myself it will be just a quick check. But it's never quick.
3) Get up early enough so that the phone doesn't start ringing while I'm in my routine, pulling me into my work day. Early means I get to enjoy that special quality of morning light and air too. This of course suggests I get to bed a bit earlier...enough quality sleep is certainly a smart part of any self nurturing ritual.
There's a bonus feeling when you walk your talk, when you do what you said you will do, when you work around your saboteur. By taking the time to take care of me I am now more able to meet and greet the rest of the world and it's needs - guilt free and grounded.
How are you supporting yourself through whatever transition you're in? What are you doing to by-pass your self saboteur?
I encourage you to post a comment - your way might just give someone else an idea for themselves.
Breathe Big,
Linda
A self care routine for me means starting my day with a walk. Not only am I moving my body I'm also taking time to notice my environment, the colours of the season, the mood of the sky, my own breathe.
When I return home I drink some water and then find my way to my yoga mat. Delicious, slow stretches help me notice and pay homage to this body that despite the various aches and pains does a pretty good job of taking me through the world. Appreciating all the many parts that are working well and being compassionate with the parts that need some TLC. The monkey brain continues to chatter but every once in awhile I remember to let it go and just notice my breathe.
From this place of relaxed openness I let loose in my journal. This is where I allow all those thoughts, feelings, dreams, ideas and 'to do' lists to spill out on the page. No holding back. No need to think about spelling, punctuation or style...just steam of consciousness. It is often cathartic and insightful!
~~~
Being a Queen of Self Sabotage, I figure it would be useful to take note of the things that help support me following through on this self care commitment.1) Have my walking/yoga clothes ready for me to jump into as soon as I wake up. I've already decided that this is the best thing for me so no need to debate, dither or be distracted by searching for the right top; just get dressed, drink some water and get out the door!
2) Refrain from 'just a quick peek at my emails first'. That's a big distraction that often is assured to bump me off my track. A way to help with that would be to turn off my computer completely at night. When it's on and ready to go it's a bigger temptation. I tell myself it will be just a quick check. But it's never quick.
3) Get up early enough so that the phone doesn't start ringing while I'm in my routine, pulling me into my work day. Early means I get to enjoy that special quality of morning light and air too. This of course suggests I get to bed a bit earlier...enough quality sleep is certainly a smart part of any self nurturing ritual.
There's a bonus feeling when you walk your talk, when you do what you said you will do, when you work around your saboteur. By taking the time to take care of me I am now more able to meet and greet the rest of the world and it's needs - guilt free and grounded.
How are you supporting yourself through whatever transition you're in? What are you doing to by-pass your self saboteur?
I encourage you to post a comment - your way might just give someone else an idea for themselves.
Breathe Big,
Linda
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