why is it so hard?

I truly mean to write weekly.

I often have snippets in my head as I'm driving or walking or day dreaming. I notice provocative quotes that take me down a particular path and I wonder what others would take from it. I drink in the lush greens that surround me here in Rupert...and I want to write about noticing, experiencing, living whatever form of beauty touches me.

Why do I seem to have trouble getting those thoughts out of my head and onto the page? No idea.

I could claim busy-ness...but really I think I just forget...or put it off...or get overwhelmed by my choices. Fortunately I'm not often visited by the excuse of  'what's the point?' That tells me something: Keep going. Just like in yoga when you fall out of a balance pose...you simply begin again.

Lose the judgement. Just begin again.

Whatever it is you want to be doing in your life...trust that you're on your path, that it's unfolding as it's meant to, complete with zigs and zags and perhaps even some full stops. And then you begin again either in a new more aligned direction or in the one that stays continues to whisper to you.

Right? Write!

procrastination offerings

I understand and have come to appreciate to some extent my procrastination tendencies around writing. I have learned to accept that "Procrastination's" purpose is to help me clarify who I'm writing for, ponder what I want to say and define what the best entry point and tone might be. I have 'reframed' procrastination as an important and necessary time for marinading and mulling over. I trust that it will eventually complete its job, usually with the help of a looming deadline. Built up pressure usually works too. 

What I don't understand is why I would procrastinate playing with a new toy?

Last week I happily purchased some simple home recording equipment. I was delighted by the idea of having a device to support and expand my own song and sound creation. All week long new idea's kept popping up around how this new acquisition was going to open doors for me, both personally and professionally. I saw visions of songs I could add my own harmonies to, record improvised moments at afternoon jams, create audio tapes of guided visualizations and visioning exercises for clients. I saw the ease in which I could share and collaborate with others by a simple click of the mouse.

Imagining all of this has been quite exciting and, I now realize, extremely daunting!

My penchant for visioning possibilities has also set up an equally large balloon of overwhelming expectations. I'd say I'm stuck (procrastinating) because my emotions are more aware of the fear that accompanies those expectations than the joys. I can see that I'm afraid of failure, of not being able to adequately learn how to use the tool to manifest those visions. I'm guessing that some part of me is protecting me from that fear - by keeping the dang thing in the box!

The trick is to balance the motivation that imagining the possibilities offers with baby steps that our hesitation teaches us we need to address in order to get where we want to go.

One of those baby steps is to get find the appropriate support. In this case it's time to call a knowledgeable friend to hold my hand when I do open up the box. And to set a date for this to happen (read: deadline). Then I can to begin to actually sow the seeds for those possibilities to have a chance to bloom!

Are you procrastinating something these days? How is it serving you?