check it out

About a month ago I went to an event where I saw someone I'd recently been getting to know better. At this event she seemed to ignore me...actually she appeared uncomfortable and distant when I caught her attention. I knew I wasn't making this up since my companion noticed as well.

I was mystified. The other day I decided to send this person an email to congratulate her on a new position I'd heard she'd made and to check in. I mentioned that at our last meeting she seemed uncomfortable and I wondered if there was some kind of misunderstanding between us.

She wrote back immediately assuring me not at all. She was able to share with me that she was recently having trouble remembering names out of context and was worried about having to make introductions to the people she was with...an old boss that she loved but was blanking out on his last name. There were other personal reasons that she had been feeling rather scrambled that day but certainly nothing in particular to do with me.  She was grateful that I was able to say something and looked forward to our next get together. I was relieved.

I am once again struck by how easy it is for us to make assumptions and even more so, to take it personally when things don't go the way we expect them to. My imagination had taken me down some pretty incredible possibilities related to work and other things....based only on this slim piece of interaction, totally ignoring the other evidence that suggested we were becoming colleagues and friends.

I guess it's possible that there had been a misunderstanding. Either way, my invitation would have allowed us to work that out too. 

I'm so glad I checked out my assumptions.